Sunday, November 6, 2011

Lacking Assertiveness

  • What causes lack in Assertiveness?

1-If you are phobic or anxiety-prone you might have difficulty making requests or saying no to family members or close friends.

2-Growing up in a family where you felt the need to be perfect and please your parents, you’ve remained a “People Pleaser” as an adult.

3-Excuses,Excuses:

-Fear often trap people and keep them from trying new things.

-While fearful people believe things will turn out badly on other hand assertive people feel that good outcome is possible.

-Most people use excuse to remain inactive every now and then as follow:

  • I’m not smart enough.
  • I’d be afraid to do that.
  • I don’t have the right cloths.
  • I’m not going to raise my hand, someone might laugh at me.
  • I’m not as good as they are.

Some people use shyness as a shield, they feel protected inside their shield like turtle.

Midland_painted_turtle

However, even a turtle has to stick its neck out of its shell to move forward.

Shy people have to stick their neck out whenever it is important in order to move forward as well.

turtle-3

Usually that require some assertiveness.

  • What does lacking  Assertiveness cause?

•Doing things you don’t want to do creates RESENTMENT, which in turn produces tension which is the source of conflict in your relationships.

  • When to be assertive?

Confronting hostile person carrying a knife may be not the best choice, however confronting a person who cuts ahead of you in a ticket line is usually ok

•Use your assertiveness when appropriate.