Thursday, November 3, 2011

How to be Assertive?

To be Assertive you have to work on yourself, in 6 distinct areas:

1)Developing Non-Verbal Assertive Behaviors

2)Recognizing and being willing to exercise your basic rights as a human being

3)Becoming aware of your own unique feelings, needs and wants.

4)Practicing assertive responses– first through writing and role-playing and then in real life.

5)Assertiveness on the Spot

6)Learning to say NO!

1)Developing Non-Verbal Assertive Behaviors

•Looking directly at another person when addressing them.

–Looking away conveys the message that you’re not quite sure about asking for what you want.

•Maintaining an open rather than closed posture.

–Uncross legs and arms.

•Do not back off or move away from the other person while in dialogue.

–The expression: “Standing your ground.” really applies here.

•Stay calm.

–Avoid angry outbursts.

2. Recognizing and Exercising Your Basic Rights

•Developing assertiveness involves recognizing that you, just as much as anyone else, have a right to all of the things listed under the Personal Bill of Rights.

•Read through the PBR and reflect on your willingness to believe in and exercise each one.

3.Becoming Aware of Your Own Unique Feelings, Needs, and Wants

•Need to be clear about:

1) What it is you’re feeling.

2) What it is you want or don’t want.

•If your feeling confused or ambivalent about your wants or needs, take time to clarify them first by writing them out or talking them out with a supportive friend and/or counselor.

Need to make your needs known. Other people are not “mind readers.”